Sunday's Coffee

2008-01-07T10:30:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about how I can avoid going back to the old ways ... old ideas ... old junk ... but keep the truth that the past has served me. I spoke at a spiritual emphasis series this last week. It was nuts to be back in that world. Here are some things that I wish I could be free from in those environments:

1. the need to have the approval of the room
2. the sales pitch
3. imposing my ideas
4. speaking before a (performance) band plays
5. the feeling of monologue ... discussion is so much more realtime
6. emotional response right there

2006-12-13T10:39:00.000-05:00

Today, I'm just a guy w/ a job. I do as little as I can to mark off the task. There is no passion. No ownership. No risk. I am responsible. I will pay for all the desires of my stomach this month. Anything I can't pay for I will put on a credit card, and I teach my children to do the same. I will sit there and listen in church. I won't disagree w/ anything. There are professionals who will teach me how sleep when I know all the above is true.

2005-01-08T05:14:00.000-05:00

Disneyland and Crazyworld are not far apart.

When I youth pastored there was a young man who attended our mid week meetings from time to time ... sometimes all the time. He stood up one night during the testimonies ... kids talking about their experience with God ... Just after one of the girls from the group did a nice job of laying some serious religious flava on the table, he stood up and said "this is Disneyland" ...

Doug ... some knew him later as John ... and I talked honestly for hours on the topic of Disneyland. He didn't drop names but he made me aware of the parties that were going on ... what happened at those parties ... and that basically, a hand full of my "Christian Leaders" were all over it. He had only one word for it. Disneyland.

Doug died a few years ago. I learned much from his honest living. He called me one night ... told me he wanted things to be "right with God". We hooked up the next day. What an honor it was to get to know God with him in those days ... back in the day.

Anymore Crazyland is the winner though. If Doug were still around, we would have the "Crazyland" discussion. It's the anti smoking campaign you see in many magazines these days.

I think what we're talking about is the complete denial of the truth ... when the truth is so loud we can't hear it ... when what we do exposes who we are so much that what we say is no more than flava ... my word of choice. Flava.

I've got a speaking engagement is a few weekends. Some kids in Wooster Oh. Many of which really are sold out on the idea of "being right with God". My hope is that my words will free of flava ... that the truth will encourage someone to deal with the reality of God ... I hope I'm one of them.

2004-07-08T20:34:00.000-04:00

One year ago tonight

My brother David, my mom and I sat in my fathers room at the Cleveland Clinic. My brother held dad's hand and prayed ... read scripture. He sat next to daddys bed, facing the same direction ... on his left side. Mom sat at the foot of the bed, also on the left side. She watched the monitor closely. She warmed dad's shin with her hand ... I was also at the foot of the bed on daddy's right side. I too watched the monitor as I held his hand. Those were the last hours we would spend with dad. Night feel. At 2:40AM July 9, 2003 my dad went to his reward. It was one year ago tonight.

I just want to remember. I want to honor my dad. He was a great man. I would like to think that one day I will rise to see dad agian. on The Day.

I've had many reocuring thoughts about what that might be like.

1. I can't fully understand now because I'm still "just human" ... the Holy Scriptures say that ... "then we will be like him" ... I understand that to mean we'll be like, Jesus Christ.
2. Dad won't be my dad ... he will be my brother in Christ.
2.2 Connie won't be my wife anymore, or my kids, my kids ...
3. ... That idea won't hurt any more because there will be no pain, no suffering, no sarrow.
4. I won't be afraid of people anymore. What they think of me ... if I've let them down ... guilt will have no place there.
5. My back won't hurt anymore
6. We will really know what it means to worship in spirit and in truth
7. We'll never be alone ... lonely will be stricken from the dictionary.
8. My mom won't be all bent over anymore ... she won't live in misery about the past.
9. I won't have to see my brothers leave and go home anymore. We'll be able to stay and play football again.
10. I'll know how to spell and blogging will take me 1/2 the time it does now. I'll be able to write what I want to say insted of searching for a way to say it with words I know how to spell.
11. We will really be equals. No laws will be needed. It will be clear ... who God is ... who we are ... and the difference will be bridged by the grace He has provided.
12. We won't need faith anymore. Faith is for stuff you can't see ... and we will see face to FACE.

I've asked myself as I've writen this why I believe it ... it's it something my friend SM says "we've been sold" ... or is this the part of "religion" that's for real. Honestly, I don't think it has anything to do with religion. SM dosen't either I think it has to do with knowing now ... before we see Him face to FACE ... while FAITH is still required. knowing who He is ... who we are ... and being honest about the vast difference ... the difference is vast ... that's why I need God's grace. It's because the word says to be Holy ... the way He is Holy ... and even today ... I haven't been. I need his CHANGING Grace.

My dad would ask me ... "son, how is it in your heart" ... he would rarely point his finger at me when my short comings were obvious ... He would simply ask me a question that there's no good reason to lie about. The time it took me to figure out what to say would qualify the answer.

One night ... 16 or 17 years old ... I knock on my mom and dad's bedroom door. I went in and sat on the corner of their bed. I began to confess the lies I had told them. I told them some specific things that were going on in my life ... somethings I didn't want there. I can't tell you what my mom and dad said, I do remember their forgiveness felt so good. On my knees later that night alone with God it felt good to tell Him about it.

My dad was a human. He did the wrong thing at times. I don't think on purpose, but simply out of being a part of the human race. He always wanted things to be done right ... and he loved it when they were. I remember how he would sit back and look at the church news letter when he was done laying it out. He wouldn't gloat but his smile gave him away. He felt good about his work.

2004-06-18T18:49:00.000-04:00

FIRE!

On January 27th of 2004 my kids stayed home ... slept in due to a snow day. A candle that we had l burned the night before ... I was sure it was out ... set an arrangement on fire ... front corner of the living room.

10:00AM
Intercom at work
"Ron Flack call extention 345"

Yes, Ron there's a call for you, please hold while I trasfer you ...

Ron! this is Jenny from Connies work
There's been a fire at your house
The girls are out ... scared ... but out.
Your wife is on her way home.

I was in a meeting ...
I've got to go, my house is on fire.

9:45AM
Smoke Alarm sounds

Andrea's responce
Mom's burning something, I think I pull my pillow over my head

Alyse's respnce
I'm in the middle of a really good dream about summer. I think i pull my pillow over my heard

Aimee's responce
Some one is making noise on this a snow day ... a gift from God. I'm going to seek them out and kick their gosple fanny!

Aimee's screem to finding smoke billowing up the steps saved my families lives. The 3 of them went straight for the door. Aimee grabbed the phone on the way out the door.

She called 911 first

... then She called my wife's work ... in town. I was 35 mins away.

By the time I got home the fire was out. My kids were safe. My wife was crying. My house was trashed.

... and it was ok. The reality of what those minutes could have been. Thoughts that I need to discipline on a regular basis. I thank God for my kids.

THE DAMAGE
Due to the girls quick responce ... the fire departments 5 min. arrival ... the only "fire damage" was to the living room. The corner wall had to be touched up with mud and repainted. The SMOKE DAMAGE was unbelievable and amounted to $1000s ... And now I understand why we have fire insurances.

This ... the 3 week of June is the first time since this all began that I've come home at night. Got something to eat and hit the internet ...

I've redone our bathroom and kitchen ... down to the studs. Insurance covered the living room, dinning room, all 4 bedrooms. I'm taking a few weeks off and then I 'll begin the 3rd floor. It's my hope to finish by Thanksgiving.

2004-04-22T18:01:00.000-04:00

Need peace?

Here's a great place to go when you need hope. A friend of mine sent this to me today. It's an old message packaged in a state-of-the-arts web site.

It might be great place to start if your ready for a new life.

2004-01-12T11:48:00.000-05:00

My heart is heavy in these days. Trying to think right and feel right do right.

Changing the way I think about worshiping God has really horked my ordained groove. My heart yerns to know God and live in proper relationship with his people. I've alway colored by numbers ... and now there are no more numbers. My Dad is gone ... our church is a circus. I've got no numbers.

I've been reading the 1st Chapter of 1st Peter. I think I'm going to just read it until I get it. Understand, Internalize, Utilize ...

2003-12-04T21:29:00.000-05:00

A friend I haven't talked to in 10 years contacted me this week. I chronicled our jouney since 1990 when we moved to Canton, Ohio from Elyria, Ohio ... here's how it went.

We hatched one more kid since our Elyria days ... Alyse ... she's going to be 11 this saturday. A happy, go lucky young lady. Precious as she can be. Has no fear. Scares me!

Andrea is a Sophmore ... Cheerleading, Volleyball. The child scares me. :) She's doing the student govenment thing right now.

Aimee is a Freshman ... 14 going on 44 ... really responsible. Quiet till you know her. Wild banchie after that. She want's a dirt bike. Also scares me!

All 3 are getting to know Jesus. I'm glad about that. They are good teachers for me.

I yp'd at Canton for 6years after Elyria. Hooked up with a College buddy (Broe Davis) and did youth evangelism for about 4 years. We lived in Nashville for 2 of that. Those were hard but blessed days. Glad there done.

Connie worked for ADT Automotive in Nashville. She help lending companies deal with there least vehicle return and diposal process. National City was a big client of hers. They liked her work and offered her a job back in Cleveland. She currently is a "head hunter" for MRC. Finishing up 3 years there

That's when we moved back to Ohio 98 ... I was still on the road at that time. I had been doing graphic on the side with a major designer in Nashville to help when I was not on the road. Loved it. I began freelancing web/print design when we moved back. 5 years ago this coming march I took a fulltime web development job from one of my bigger clients (Summit Racing Equipment).

Also at our return, I went to Warren Naz every Thursday night for 3 years to hook-up with there high School & collage aged kids. After that, the same at Akron SE Naz for 3 years ... just finished that up.

Over the last year I've filled in leading worship at Canton 1st Naz where we have continued to attend on sundays since our return. They just hired a music dude, so I'm done with that.

Often I remeber the way we would sing in that little sanctuary in Elyria, Norm Hetsler was the loudest ... you could alway hear Norm. I sat with him a couple years back when I visited on a Sunday night. It was good.

It's been good to work in the work-a-day world these last few years. Real people. Real hurts. It's been good to get to know God will a few of my friends at work. I've attemped to start a study group but it was infiltrated with church people. The people that I intended to reach quit coming. I think they felt the pointed finger. I stopped doing it then ... I realized in that time that I have nothing to offer them. I need God as much or more than any I was attempting to minister to. That's been a good realiztion. It's helped me stay out of the way.

God is good.

I lost my dad this summer. My brother David & I were at his side at 2:40AM July 9, 2003. David and I were holding his hand when he took his last breath. I miss him. My heart hurts me in these days. I think of him and the things he taught me.

2003-10-21T02:06:00.000-04:00

I'm a web designer by day. I'm not sure by night. Usually looks like home repair, catching up with one of my kids at an activity, spending some time playing my keyboard ... singing a little.

I'm making some choices right now. Things have changed in my world in a big way. I lost my dad this summer. 83 years old ... but still this was unexpected. Dad was strong and hard working.

So I didn't ask, but my world is all different now. The change has occured. I'm at a cross roads of the dealing. Dealing with it.

So I guess, I'll have to "save the changes". It's a function I deal with everyday at the close of business. When I power down my computer it asks me "do you want to save the changes?" ... and I have to answer. Not answering isn't an option. I've got to answer. Save, Don't Save, Cancel ...

My friend peepod let me listen to his Switchfoot CD ... And these are the hymn writers for my grandkids ... I hope ...

Stuff like ...

"this is your life ... are you who you want to be?"
"yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead ... it's a promise that you've broken ... this is your life, are you who you want to be?"

And now I've have to deal.

Do I want to save the changes?

Here are somethings that have been changing in my world since loosing my dad:
(Some good, some arn't really good at all ... )

1. The organized church that use to bug me so much has come to my aid.
2. My daughters have learned to trust God right before my eyes.
3. I've learned a few hymns ... "the servant song" one of them ...
4. My passion for web development is wavering in wake of my rekindeled calling.
5. My passion to fix up this old house is not just wavering ... it's gone.
6. The coffee is more about the conversation and less about the coffee.
7. I've been up late at night ... not worring ... wresteling.
8. I'm almost never hungery
9. I think about my sister Gloria everyday.
10. I read less of the bible ... more often.
11. I talk less to God ... listen more.
12. I've cryed about my dad until my head ached. Many times.
13. I've talked about my dad ... that's been good.
14. I've considered working in a church environment for the first time in years.
15. Get over aruments quicker ... but still have them
16. I take my hat off during prayer
17. Realized that I'm really going to die someday.
18. Hoped that I will go to heaven when that happens
19. Played softball with my brother Bill. Talk to him more often.
20. Realized how much I need God. I just really need God.

... there's a bunch more.
I don't want to ... but I've got to ...
Save the Changes ...

2003-10-13T22:48:00.000-04:00

I fall so short. I fall so short of the glory of God.

For as much as I complain about the condition of "the world", and crime ...

I fall so short.

I can't communciate what's in my head, my heart. I can't put words on the ocean of feelings I have. Of the hopes I have for what it means to be a family ... for what it means to know God ... to be different because of knowing God ...

I fall short.

I can say. I love my kids, my wife ... words ... words are worthless if you fall short ... if you don't back it up with who you are ... worthless.

I fall short ...

... when I'm tired. I'm tired.

I fall short.

I need God, because I fall short.

The decisions that are before me are bigger than I am. I don't have the resources ... the knowledge ... to know what to do.

God, if you read blogs ... I need your help tonight. I'm alone with this ... There's no Dad to run to ... there's no place to hide. Just me and forever.

Switchfoot ... "this is your life, are you who you want to be?"

Being is first becoming ... and I hate it.

I hate that I had to lose my Dad to come face to face with all of this ... this calling ... this incapability ...

And yes the right answer is that "it's all up to God" ... the right answer.

I just need God. Really bad, I need God.

He is faithful.

2003-10-04T07:41:00.000-04:00

There's a difference between Guilt and the Holy Spirits Conviction

Guilt will paralyze you. The Holy Spirits conviction will move you to things you can't do ... alone. And yes, I believe with all my heart that there is a difference between guilt and the Holy Spirits conviction.

And I do believe that guilt has a place. But it's not to be imposed on the tip of my well polished fake fingure nail.

If I'm all about me. I think imposing guilt on people is a really cool gig. I mean look at it. It gives me a feeling of control ... sometimes I win before the conversation/argument even starts because any other opinion wouldn't be "godly".

The other side of this journaling tantrum is ...
If I can simply let my focus be
1. My need of God
2. It's compeling me to encouage & help others

I believe the power of God get's to be inchage of leading people to himself by the leading of his hope filled Holy Spirit.

When I'm lead, convicted by the Holy Spirit ...
1. I know what's in my life is wrong ... pointed fingure no longer required
2. I know it can be different ... there's hope ... It's all about the hope!
3. An opportunity to act on my will to submit to God and his Lordship arrises
4. I see it's bigger than anything I can fix myself ... It totally requires God, his grace ... Jesus.
5. I realize I'm not nearly as smart as I thought I was ... I'm not sure what order these should be in ... #5 realized

2003-08-11T20:16:00.000-04:00

One's Job

When to stay, when to leave.

Some rules of thumb for when to stick it out in job situation when the going got tough.

1. Have I promised to stay a certain amount of time?
2. Am I doing something that I'm growing from?
3. How does my professional world affect my private world?
4. Do the "other details as assigned by your boss" out weigh your calling?
5. Is it a calling?
6. Can you make a living?
7. Do people you respect ask you "how are you really doing"? ... is it evedent that you are struggling?
8. Are you on the same page as the community you serve?
9. Are you on the same page as those who "oversee" your work?

I've been asking myself these questions. They are good questions. One last one I asked myself this morning when I was crying my eyes out to God ...

10. Is this God's will?

So there you go ... stuff to look at.

2003-08-03T17:04:00.000-04:00

I asked a few of my friends the other day if I'm too up tight about stuff ... church stuff ... Like $40K for a blinking sign. "Praise the Lord!" ... "Louie Smith in concert next Sunday" (I guess it's not the money or even the idea of the flashing sign ... I guess the message ... the marketing ...) Make no mistake. The hearts of the people are good. No question. I can't escape my feelings. I would never want discourage someone who's trying to do the right thing ...

Here's the dialogue that followed ...

KM:
Well maybe God want's it to bother you ... maybe there's something you're suppose to be doing
"Flack, why not just have you're own chruch?" ...

Me:
I don't have the tools to pastor the kind of church that our culture has been trainned to expect.

KM
Exactly, that's why I'm asking. Maybe just do it the way you feel it need to happen.

DC
Ya, you could go to Ron's church barefoot.

Me
Absolutely! ... but I don't have any desire to baby sit a building all week to use it on sunday.

KM
Maybe you don't need a building ... I was on a hike the other day, I sat down in an open area on the side of a hill ... all I could see was God's work.

Me
Sweet! No building, that's cool. But, I just don't even know where to start ...

I've been thinking about her question this weekend ... why not ...

1. If it meant weddings and funerals and making sure I visit people when they expect it ... I rest my case. All the administration is out of my league.

2. I'm a dork

3. I like Letterman

4. I'm not cut out for "leadership" ... do what I say ... Here's God's will for you ...

5. I drive over the speed limit

6. I don't drive a buick

7. I'm afraid

8. I don't feel a need to "make a statement".

9. I'm not "religious"

10. I blow it every week ... I need God all the time. I don't have it figured out.

11. I'm most comfortable with people a least 10 years younger than myself (43)

12. It would become a "thing" ... I'd have to explain it to people. "So you have your own church now?" ... Unless God just changes me, that would make me postal.

13. I'd be up late at night, thinking about people who are hurting ... I wouldn't be able to seportate myself from the "role" ... I'm not sure that you should. And then I'd be cranky at work ... at my kids, and wife. I've been down that road.

14. Current Demoninational Status ... I'm not sure what to do with that. I'm not sure I'd want it to be a "church" from an organizational perspective.

15. My job ... I love what I do, design. It's in me. And, yes, I know the tent making deal ...

16. Theological Debates. Homosexuality, Eastern Religion, Political Intrests, Abortion, Smoking, Drinking, Spitting. I don' even want to be in the conversation ... I've been in Sunday school when I thought I was going to "blow a bleeder" in my forehead ... "they", "we know better", "help them understand", "don't want my kids around it" ... Make's me crazy ... Make's me mad. I have no desire to "win arugments".

17. Money ... don't wan'a spend any, don't wan'a ask for any, don't wan'a ...

18. Don't want to think of myself more highly than I should ... "not all of you should consider yourselves to be teachers ..." Especially you Flack! now tuck your shirt in, cut your hair, get a suit and tie. I just can't be that.

19. Can't spell

20. I don't enjoy "church growth" books or seminars

There are many more reason's why I shouldn't even consider it ... but there are a few, one especially, that I can't escape. I'm not sure I'll address that now.

2003-05-28T18:25:00.000-04:00

Pray for my Friend Mick

2003-03-03T20:53:00.000-05:00

I have a 15 year-old daughter.

I remember where I went the night before she was born. I bought a pair of shoes. Really ugly, really comfortable.

I remember Connie I and laying in bed the night prior to her birth. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.

I acted like I was asleep.

Connie and child ... my family.

The doctors would give us no promises about the little baby who seemed to be 3-4 lbs at the most.

A planned c'section.

Stress tests eveyday other day for 2 weeks.

"Life-Flight" on stand by if need be.

All this I rememeber clearly.

The trip to the hospital ... Oberlin Ohio ...

Really cold out ... I heated up the car.

We checked in at the hospital.

The pastor prayed the prayer.

The nurses came.

IV

the masks

I walked next to the nurse as she pushed Connie to the room where the c-section would be performed.

I stayed with her. I remember being quiet.

The doctors came in.

And Connie counted backwords ... feel asleep.

The doctors asked me how I was doing ...

I was really concern. I was of no service to anyone.

I left the room ...

I looked through the glass.

I could see the life support ... a machine was breathing for Connie.

I stood back. I was completely alone. But not yet, alone.

The reality and magnitude of the moment became clear to me, but there was also a since that all was well.

The doctors were not telling jokes, no casual converstion.

8:30

8:31

8:32

8:33

"Mr. Flack ... would you like to come and see your baby daughter?"

Over 6 lbs.

I held her only briefly.

I gave her to the nurse. She seemed like she knew what to do with a new born.

I had no clue. And this "high risk" baby needed some attention. I handed her back.

The blanket they wrapped her in was so warm.

I did stay close by ... didn't let her out of my sight ... while the nurse had to work a little to clear her skin from the process.

The hat.

The warm blanket.

The pink card.

Then, she was ok.

I knew she was ok.

Me and baby were delivered to the room where they would bring Connie 30 long minutes later.

I just held her.

I held her up to Jesus.

I gave her to Jesus in that moment. I had nothing to offer her. I knew the one who gave her life could keep her much better than I could.

Though the "baby dedication service" was a few weeks later it was some place between 8:33 and 9:00am that morning when her life was commited to God.

I was alone with a baby I didn't know.

My wife who was my best friend, whom I knew well was not awake.

I was afraid.

I was not completely alone ... but I was alone.

I held the baby the entire time and a bond began to occur.

She, in that 30 min. period, was all the family I had.

I kept asking the nurse If Connie was awake.

She kept giving me the same answer.

And then they took me to see Connie.

Her first question was ... "does she have all her fingers and toes"

I said yes ... I didn't know.

She did.

We checked.

And now we were a family of 3.

I remember all that stuff. I remember it clearly.

I have no idea where the 15 years just went to.

Andrea Joy Flack

A gift from heaven.

Born on February 26

2003-02-20T06:57:00.000-05:00

I didn't go to our "discussion" this week. I needed to stay home with sick girls.

I talked to one of the memebers about how she thought it went. She said there was quite a discussion about fundmentalist. How those in the discussion had much the same opinion.

I wonder if the the dicussion I so desire to be a part of, I am an interuption to. I wonder if members of the group find it easyer to be honest when the "chief pharisee" isn't there.

I talk the talk. I've learned how to "put on the dog" in such a big way ... that I wonder if I'm even capable of an honest converstion.

How do we enable honest converstion and honor God at the same time.

I bet it has a lot to do with how I define "conversation" and what it means to "honor God".

I can't even attend a Sunday School class. It make me angery to look in the mirror. To hear people say stuff that deep in my heart I hate, but I've said my self ...

Is it really up to me.

Is it really "them" and "us" ... the sinners and the saints.

I'd rather be branded as a sinner ... I don't want anything to do with the pointed finger I was raised to point ... and I do it well. Even w/o saying a word. How is it that I can't talk to someone about God without having to point out that "I'm right, your wrong".

My desire is to get to know God together. I like how that sounds. I don't know that I completely know what it means. I do know what it dosent' mean.

The "good" descipling the "new" Christian.
Winning a Sunday School argument.
Being chainned a list of scriptures that someone calls the Roman Road.
Winning souls ... yes, we know, we know ... that's Gods work! ... then why are we asked to "stand up" if we've won someone to the Lord!
... I see, it's really not a grace thing at all. It's how good we can close the deal ... how many we can convence that Sunday morning and the suit and tie is the way to be holy.

I'm so conditioned with this stuff I can even be in the conversation.

How can I be in the conversation?

2003-02-11T07:25:00.000-05:00

Today at Work

I'm going to try to stay out of a "Bible Discussion" that will pose the following questions:

What's it mean to be Christian?

What things have happened/changed in your life that only God can take credit for?

What are the challenges that only God can provide for?

2003-02-07T20:01:00.000-05:00

Postmodern ... Great, another buzz 'ard.
Check this out. This may take some consideration.

Ginkworld: 2. How do you define and practice evangelism in a postmodern culture?

Hohstadt: The evangelism of the POST-postmodern future will be more:
• organic (part of life itself) and less institutional or programmed,
• personal and less doctrinal,
• grace-filled and less sin-dominated,
• a triumph of the Spirit and less a triumph of man,
• motivated by joy and less by fear,
• a community dynamic and less individualistic,
• motivated by the heart and less by propositions or formulas,
• validated by experience and less by knowledge,
• open to multiple points of entry and less restricted to certain times and places,
• helpful to multiple stages of growth and less a one-time event,
• art and less rhetoric,
• listening and less talking,
• modeling and less teaching,
• cross-cultural and less cultural.

The above was completely and shamlessly stollen from this link | Entire Story

Organic ... hum. Organic. Don't know if I'd use the word organic but I like where he's headed.

2003-02-07T03:30:00.000-05:00

Getting to Know God ... Together.

Getting to know God in Canton Ohio has look like this.

-- Watching my 15 year old walk out the door on her first date.
-- Trying to suck 1 more month out of our 1990 Astro Van ... 213K ... and counting.
-- Stepping into some new lives at work.
-- Stepping out of others in my personal world.
-- Paying the last of 8 years of a business debt.
-- Deciding, I like being a web developer ... sticking with it for another few years.
-- Growing where I've been planted
-- Not Sleeping.
-- Feeling Guilt.
-- Feeling the war.
-- Realizing that even as I type someone is on the front lines in my behalf.
-- Knowing Gods realness.
-- Hoping again.
-- Realizing how "Contrived" I really am.
-- Dealing with it.
-- Being honest.
-- Learning how to fight and Love someone all at the same time.
-- Gutting the 3rd floor of a 1907 house.
-- Rediscovering old friends
-- Loving Music again.
-- Wondering about 3 men who are still on the Space Station ... How will we get them home safely.

2003-02-07T02:55:00.000-05:00

I know a Stripper!

His name is Eric. He has a blog of his own, you should check it out. No pictures but the text is so graphic, I don't think images are required.

You may think he's a sick puppy ... At time's I think so too.

One thing is for certain. Reading his blog could really give you a "new perspective" on life. Check out his wednesday, february 5 entry named: "More Reality..."
Click here for Eric the Stripper

2003-02-03T23:17:00.000-05:00

I'm from Mars ...

I think I'm from mars. I don't have any desire to clap at the end of someones solo at church. I don't think praise and worship is a style of music. I don't think communion is a ritual. I don't take it when it's treated like one. I believe I will be held accountable for it, if I did. I don't have scripture in my cube at work. I like skaters. I like old people who complain alot ... and in the midst of their pointed finger, smile and give them a hug ... and be there when they realize what just happened. I think christian punk music has some of the deepest lyric since some of the old hymns. I like some old hymns, I love the people who sing them with tears in their eyes ... because they depend on God's "Amazing Grace" (not because they sang it at Uncle Ralphs funeral and the words make them feel fuzzy). Some of my best friends smoke, drink and call me really bad names ... and they are still my friends. And some of them would lay their lives down for me. I let my kids stay up late on school nights ... sometimes ... I like it when things are all organized and then God comes and whoever is in charge is really uncomfortable ... and then they realize they aren't going to get to preach "their Message" ... and they just give it up ... and we get to hang out with God. And God's people tell about how they need Him. And they meet God's provision. People really pray together ... And people who think there's not a God get to see God, and get to be God's people too. I don't think music is a spiritual gift. I do music with all my heart. I play my keyboard for hours. No one around to tell me "your not allowed to use those cords together" ... It's not a gift ... it's a priviledge. I play for the master ... on an old Fender Rhodes that smells like a broom closet and a Korg 01/W ... And it's 2am. And sometimes just because it's fun ... and other times because I know God is listening.

I hope God can use people from Mars.

From the depts of my heart I want to know I'm in step with His Spirit. I want ears that will hear and eyes that will see. I want to share in his suffering ... maybe I am ... maybe I'm a baby ... and someday share in His glory.

2003-01-29T15:36:00.000-05:00

Here's another question.

Should we copy what the big church on the other side of town is doing? ... The church growth stats will tell us what will bring the people out. I'm struggling with this. I don't want to complain ... I want to settle this issue in my heart. If it's really what we're suppost to be about ... I'm not convinced ...

Tozer says "you win people to what you win them with" ...

2003-01-29T15:29:00.000-05:00

Is it really ok with God for us to spend millions of dollars on big rooms we spend 2.5 hours/week in? ... This is a real question. I'm searching for an answer. There's really no better way to hook up with God? Are they already coming? Do we really need more room at 10:00am? ... The idea that "if you build it they will come" is from hollywood. Be my friend. Help me out.

2003-01-04T15:07:00.000-05:00

I watched OSU win the National title last night.

You know, it scares me how much I care. Dude it's a game. A few years ago I didn't know who was playing ... didn't care.

I wonder if it's the 40hrs/week and the 401k.

I wonder if I've thown in the towl on really giving my life to things that matter.

I wonder if I've excepted the the big chuch that will take my kids to camp. And well call it good.

How can my world get so small that a football game can make me sit of the edge of my chair.

I wonder how many people stepped into eturnity in that same 3 hour period.

I wonder.

2003-01-04T14:58:00.000-05:00

I'm going to say it.

I think there are 2 ways.

See God, see yourself, see the difference, come out and be honest ... depend on God for the difference. Need God and Know God.

or

See God, see yourself, see the diffenece, hide. Be self rightous ... depend on your ability. Need religion. Know religion.

Give me eyes to see.

2002-12-31T18:23:00.000-05:00

Later 2002!

It's the first time I can remember wishing an entire year away. What's wild is that I can remember with detail what I was doing a year ago right now ... making our way to Connie's family in Mich. And thinking ... in just a year we will have over come some "huge issues" I'll call them.

Connie and I have made some choices that I'm hoping will stick.

Being a Cash organization Rocks
Giving God what's God's ... First
Trusting God for what our family needs next.
Supporting the fellowship of believer in Jesus Christ next.
Getting to know God with my world.

I hope that a year from tonight I we will have come to see these come to pass.

God can.

I need a new heart ... same prayer new year!

2002-12-10T22:14:00.000-05:00

No need to make the Bible relevant. It already is.
Greg Laurie

I listened to the MP3 for December 9 (Monday). It's an interview with he and his side kick. The basicly walk thur how their ministry was started. He talks about his mission and what he's been called to do.

They also talk about their needs.
Prayer was first. I will do that.

At one point he said that it wasn't his goal to bring relevance to the bible ... that is was relevant by it's self.

It make's me think about the scripture that says not to add or take away from the Word. Sometime with good intent it's easy to want to "speed the word up a bit" ... or to "help it out".

No need.

Greg rocks

2002-12-07T09:47:00.000-05:00

I'll trade Talent for a Gift any day!

The "Christmas Program" was last night ... kids sing ... parents clap ... more video and pictures ... Ok, me too. My 10 year old helped me with something last night. I watcher her. She was in the back row. No solo. No speaking part. She just sang. Sang from the bottom of her heart.

She told me prior to the program that she felt bad that she didn't have a part but she was still really excited and even a little nervious about the idea of being in front of everyone ... it was cool to watch that fear melt into the moment of doing something she really enjoyed.

Some kids had solos

Some kids had speaking parts

They were talented. They did those things well.

That's good.

Something in my heart broke as I watch my 10 look in a bit of disapointment ... when her friends took the mic. Some how she still wanted to celebrate their success with them ... I cryed.

I began to look around at the other kids who were just there to sing. I wondered how God looked at their effort vs the efforts of anyone else ... w/ or w/o a "featured part" ...

Everybody has talent in some area. Some get claps, Some get CASH ... Some get the corner office.

My fear is that we've totally confused Gifts ... and Talents. And on "Sunday" we've said to our youth ...
"you are so talented ... God could really use you in a big way".

I'm yelling! ... I'm jumping on furnature!...

NO

It's not the talented that God uses to do BIG things. Define "talent" ... Define "Big things"
Do they have anything to do with an individuals reliance on God? ... Do have have anything to do with God at all? Do we really need God at all for someone to stand before us and "Star Search" with a mic?

--------------------------------------------------
God can use our talents ... when they've been laid down. When they've been submitted to him ... there's even a time when the talent lead's an individual to a Gift that is bigger than themselves.
--------------------------------------------------

The Gift ... is something the individual has been given. Is obvious that it's not them ... "not ability ... it's availbility." It's not about the individual, it's about God and the community that live for and worship him. Build up everyone ...

I watched during prayer ...

the conclusion ... I was still crying. Wondering how many times in my own life I've traded Gifts for Talent ... or been glad to pass off a gift (something I can't take credit for) for a talent (some thing I get full credit for).

A little girl had her hands clintched and was talking to God ... back row ... I couldn't help but to notice the masses of kid still looking for their parents ... waving ... The prayer was a formality for many ... not for this kid.

The Gift of prayer ...

I hope someone will tell that kid ... God hear you when you pray like that ... when you want His will and pray believing that He hears.

I hope some will tell that kid that the Angles took note last night

I hope someone will tell that kid that the voices may be stilled ... the tallented may one day have no platform to display their selfworship ... but the GIFT of knowing God well enough to talk to him with clintch fists ...

CANT TOUCH THAT!

I will take the Gift over the Talent ...
Any day ...

THIS DAY.

Thank You Lord for my 10

2002-12-05T17:19:00.000-05:00

Look Past their possition and look to their need

Dr. Cubie from MVNU use to hit us up with that statement. He used it in the context of the minister. The minister having Doctors, people of status in their congregations. look past them as a figure and look at how to minister to them.

But now that I'm "just a stranger on the bus trying to find my way home" ... it's taken on new meaning.

I've got people in my life that view me as "a stranger on the bus" ... no longer a guy with an door and a title. In the business world you are only worth what you produce. The "good message" dosent' cut it here.

I must still look past the possition ... that says ... Hey Flack ... you stink! ... look past that.

Freedom is all about looking past stuff that keeps us from being what God has created us to be. That kind of freedom is what we're here for. And again. I need God.

I need to be Free enough to look past it all ...
Eyes to see need
Ears to hear need

Heart that will respond to it ...

Pray that way ... Talk behind my back ... to God!

2002-12-04T19:22:00.000-05:00

Acting out of Who you are

I went to the airport with Dave Downs (a friend from college). He was sending off his girl friend after a short weekend visit. Kelly. Nice to everyone. Even me.

While we waited for her to board the jet we notice a college aged man. Long nasty hair (sort of like mine) ... bent over. He was really sick. So sick that it became obvious that he needed some help.

Kelly ... nice to everyone ... took what could have been a really uncomfortable situation and just made it ok ... Just did what need to happen for this young man get the help he needed.

I doubt that she was thinking "this is a really kind thing for me to do" ... or "This will make such a good testimony for me next Wednesday night ... it's such a blessing to be 'used by God' " ... sorry.

No, someone needed help. She helped. In matter of fact, the nature of her care seemed so natural that I felt like a "dirt ball" just sitting there thinking ... Dude is really messing up the floor ... sorry.

It was Kelly to just see what need to be done and respond to it. I'm sure there was a time when it did take some effort for her to see the need of others ... but, in time, as she made it here "standard practice" ... it just became "who she was" ...

I want to serve people like that ... out of who God is making me, not out of knowing the right thing to do. I don't know what to do most of the time. I guess I'm going to have to make it my "standard practice".

Dear God, do in me what I can't do for myself. Give me ears to hear and eyes to see.

2002-12-04T19:05:00.000-05:00

Who's defining Us?

Sometimes I'm tempted to allow other to define me when I'm thinking ... they're yelling at me, I guess that's the mode of communication here. I guess I'll yell back.

Then I'm a yeller ... I don't want to be a yeller.

All the time people that I love complain about stuff. I complain about stuff too.

Then I'm a complainer ... I don't want to be a complainer.

God is teaching me ... again ... "doing unto others as we'd like them to do unto us" * ... is really a freedom concept. It's God defining us buy the grace obedience he allows us to walk in ... you know that kind of obedience we don't have to take credit for ... the kind we can't ... we know it's Him ... not us.

Being free to respond not react. I really need help in this area. There is no freedom in allowing others to define us ... doing what's done to us. There is HUGE freedom in being defined by the one who created us.

*Sorry about the King James feel ...

2002-10-23T19:22:00.000-04:00

What Greg Laurie Says about Disciples:
"Are You His Disciple?" Luke 14

1. They Love Jesus more than anyone or anything.
When you love God it will cause problems with people ... Love Jesus most. You will be able to love people more when you Love God most.

2. Take up His cross and follow Jesus
Brings Joy ... it's hard but it will bring joy.
Laydown your life and you will find it.

3. Want to find yourself? Laydown your life.
God's Plan for your life is much better for you than the plan you have picked for yourself.

4. Forsake your possitions ... Not obsessed by stuff. It's not a call to poverty. It's a proper relationship to things ... you have them ... they don't have you!

Never be afraid to commit an unknow funture to a known God.

2002-10-17T18:00:00.000-04:00

Like minded

I haven't read this lately. I don't know if I've said anything about my friend from work how has recently dealt with Jesus in a huge way.

I've apologized to for the choir and the robes the ups and downs ... the people yelling and the pointed finger ...

I think he just see's all that stuff for what it is.

All of which he seems ok with it ... In matter of fact he has started going to church with me. Talked to Jesus in the parking lot by the dumpster ...

Sometimes people drive right through stop signs.

To me all that stuff I apologized for ... all stop signs.

If you don't fit into this specific set of personality trates ... you are a sinner ... you sinner (pointed finger and all ... bad breath ... the whole deal).

He's driven right through all the stuff I've been in a internal war with for the last 7 years.

I talked to him about this stuff honestly.

We meet at Starbucks on Sunday mornings prior to church.

"Wouldn't it be great to have a place like this to just get to know God together at" ... Talk about the week ... I mean the real issues. Share Gods word. Worship ... bust out a song or 2.

His responce.

Why not just do it?

Find some people who are like minded and do it.

I could start in someones living room.

... How many times have I had this conversation with my wife ... with Broe ... with Scott.

Like minded.

2002-10-17T17:45:00.000-04:00

Skate the Same!

You've heard me talk about Scott. He's 28ish. A skater from back in the day.

As a punk kid he would ask himself ... "do I skate any different when people are watching?"

He skated relentlessly for years up until recently. A serious injury to his ankle.

Hours everyday.

It wasn't about the cloths ... the culture or the vibe. It was a love for skating. A message you will hear from many who "really" skate.

Part of that meant ... if there's a trick he needed to work on ... he worked on it.

Sometimes when I know others are watching me. It's easy for me to "skate safe" ... or the other extreme is to do things that arn't me at all.

What a lesson for life.

Be who you are.

Skate the same.

2002-10-17T17:34:00.000-04:00

The Manager at Starbucks

The guy Scott and I used to talk to everyday for months just disappeared. Yesterday at noon, there he is.

He told me he had been in a bad accident. Almost died.

I was in line for my coffee ... a few others hearing everyword.

He said he was thankful thought. His mom had been talking to him. He was alive for a reason.

Just a week prior on my way in, I was thinking about him. wondering what happened to him. Hoping that God would put someone in his path ... feeling like something was unfinished.

He also said that he had been praying ... talking to God.

There were still others in line ... he had the same message for everyone.

He said he was glad. He had a new outlook ... a new lease on life.

Scott and I went to Starbucks today ... Verona was the coffee of the day ... one of my 3 favorites ... Our manager friend asked if we had a second ... he was pressing a new coffee they had just gotten in ... "do you have a grinder?" ... Do I have a grinder (cockie smerk) ... he handed us a bag ... "brew some of this tonight".

The conversation will continue.

It will be a true conversation.

I've got a ton of crap in my life ... stuff I've got to get rid of ... stuff that will cloud the converstion ... any converstion I have about God will be clouded with my selfish take as log as the "stuff" is there ... the agenda.

I know God dosen't need me to reach people. I know that the manager at Starbucks has someone shinning a light of hope his way ... but I want to be one of them.

I want to be about hope and encouagement.

I want to be the guy that tell the people who never have been allowed that they can!

Freedom.

... but to speak words of freedom, I've got to be free my self.

Not perfect.

Free.

2002-08-01T20:02:00.000-04:00

Aaron Rae

Came to my house today ... I want his computer. Ok, I shot him and ....

2002-07-28T08:34:00.000-04:00

Greg Laurie

The last few Saturday nights I've been tuning in to Greg Lauire's "Day 7" ... it's a time of teaching, music, scripture, question and answer. I have a since the the qanda is staged but non-the-less ... It done really well.

No hype, no cheese.

I told my wife that it's the first TV show designed for young people with a christian message that's not total MTV-wanta be cheese. Let's move the camera all around ... there's a new idea. None of that exisits.

Here's what I have observed:

Introduction grapbic are done well. Day 7 is well branded.
Greg is Glad being Greg ... He's just him.
The segments work together. Greg presents a topic, There's praise music to set the stage. Greg comes back with interaction q and a ... some what staged ... and presents the topic ... ie ... last night was "satan" who he is, who he isn't.
The topic is set ... another praise song. Greg comes back with the first of his 4-5 points ... each point is titled on the blue screen. each point is followed by a supportive song by an artist. At one point the lead singer from ATS did interviews with the public ... "do you believe in satan?" ... at the end is a less than emotional inviatation but many times a very emotional responce.

I guess the thing that I love about it is that it's not "soft goodnews" ... it's "hardcore goodnews" ... not attitude ... "hey dude satan sucks" ... more like ... "here's what the bible says and you have the opportunity to respond."

More later ...

2002-07-26T20:55:00.000-04:00

Discipleship is hard.

I have this hope in my heart that I could could someday be apart of helping people embrase God's calling in their lives.

This week I've had some questions posed to me at work. Individuals needing help with some web development issues. We work as a close team. We give each other "the business" on a regular basis. I think it's our way of saying to each other that we really do care about eachother. We don't work alone anymore. We use to ... this year we've learned to work as a team. ... the questions... ya, it was really cool to beable to sit down next to someone and help them achieve a desired goal. Answer a question ... or simply discover the answer together.

Back to the discipleship conversation ...

They use to call me Youth Pastor ... I had a door with that on it—though I didn't have one piece of legetament office furnature, I did have an office. And office I did. And I called people and had the meetings and the meetings and then there was the meetings.

I read all those Mission books and I wrote a mission statement... then the Vision books, and I "had a vision" ... Time management helped me see how little time you really need to eat your lunch ... Youth semianrs ... and that made we want to find $50,000 for a sound and video system ...

... all so I could "disciple" kids for God.

At one point an individual from the church said "I admire you for your marketing skills" ...

And I said thank you.

And I asked a question.

And I cryed. And I thought of the guys that Jesus threw out of his fathers house ... and my table of tricks was upside down.

Because it really is important. Discipleship.

Because it's really not something we do.

Because it's something only God can do when we give him space to do it.

I cryed.

My concept of Discipleship began to change.

I first concept look like this.

Plugging individuals into predetermined positions (that were either establish prior to my coming or well pinned by me) that would support the this oiled machine that I was attempting to building... I was well trainned ... they told me "if I didn't plug people in to the program in so many days I would loose them" ... And I loved to count them ... you can't count them if there not there ... oh wait, they changed that one.

I think you can now.

I remember starting with 18 and then 25 -- 35 -- and then it happened ... 41! ... someone was going to ask me to write a book. And I would give God all the credit. That's what you're suppost to do, you know.

I'm not a "youth pastor" in the minds of many because I don't have a door ... no sign ... dude, I don't even have a suit that fits anymore ... Touch someone and say "fat boy".

Here is what's in my heart.

What if discipleship could be helping people embrase God's calling in their lives. What if I didn't have to have all the answers and we could get to know God with you ... not pump into your head my take on what knowing God meant. What if discipleship was bigger than the building I've been attempting to fill.

It is!

In matter of face I must say I have no desire to be involved in anymore monologues ... When we know that the gospel is a conversation.

Web developement is easy ... it's just code. It's ideas. It's people working together. It's about selling stuff on the web.

Discipleship is about life and death.

That's hard.

If we have a desire to get to know God together ... we will. You will encourage me. I will encouage you. We will realize we are in a journey that we can't complete without the supernatural intervention of a loving and Holy God.

We must do what is hard.

We will do what is hard.

2002-07-07T11:49:00.000-04:00

A great search on the Mind of Christ

2002-07-07T11:36:00.000-04:00

This weeks prayer

We've prayed that we would be pleasing to God in all that we SAY ...
in all that we DO ...
in all our THOUGHTS ...

The "in all we say and all we do" part fits in the songs way to easy. They don't require much in thought process.

Many of the things I say and do are closely measured. I know what would be precieved as "pleasing to God" by my friends, family ...
The THOUGHTS I have are another level all together ... They aren't about (usually) things that people can see right away. It's really only me and God at that point. He's knowing my thoughts.

Here's some thought process ...

No matter what I say to the waitress that spills coffee all over me ... my thoughts are loud and clear to God.

Is this an unfair example?

Will we be dealt with on every idol thought when I stand before Jesus on The Day? The Bible say we will be on every word.

I don't know ...

I think our thoughts are a "loose cannon" of sorts. They can be anything. That's good and that's bad.

The creative mind by having a new thought may someday find a cure for cancer.

The deprived mind the Bible says "find new levels of depravity".

Many times one of the enemy's tools is to throw us into confusion. When we try to take a precept that God has established to provide for us and protect us ... and we find a way to change it a little to fit our lifestyle ... confunsion ... Here is what the word says. Here's what would really fit my schedule.

Taking our minds captive gives a handle on this stuff.

I do believe that as we spend time with Jesus. As we become like him from spending time with him ... His spirit is real inside us. The fruit of the spirit resides in us. The word talks about having "mind of Christ".

2002-07-07T10:49:00.000-04:00

10-42

The 10 commandments rememorized at 42 years of age. No, it's not too late.

[1] No other gods (little g)
[2] No idols (anything that I put in God's place)
[3] Don't misuse God's name
[4] Remember the sabath day
[5] Honor mother and father
[6] Don't murder
[7] No sex with any but your spouce
[8] Don't take stuff that's not yours
[9] No false testimony
[10] Don't live in want

2002-07-02T10:12:00.000-04:00

Worship requires honesty

When I meet with others who need Jesus in a spirit of thanksgiving and expectation. We worship. The context is a clear picture of who I am, who God is and realizing the vast difference.

When I meet in a building with individuals like my self who have been taught that now that I've got to put on the face. That requires everyone I interact with to do the same.

The goal is to cover up the difference.

When I'm free to be honest, those I worship with will be free to worship as well.

The goal is to discover the difference...

... Confess the difference ... an then we worship ... God makes up the difference.

2002-07-01T23:00:00.000-04:00

When I participate in a conversation about God.

I don't know that the conversation that I'm in will help the me feel good about my "rightous acts". I've heard they are filthy rags.

It's seems more more honest if it's a conversation that a "looser"* like me can participate in honestly ... because inspite of my spelling problem and the rest of my shortcomings, Jesus loves me. There's a place for me at the fireplace conversation of Jesus.

This conversation has nothing to do with my vocabulary ... nothing to do with winsomeness, or quick wit (good thing). It's someone with need ... me ... and someone who can meet that need ... the Master ... looking eachother in the eye ... never seaching for words. Need words like "help!" and hope words like "I love you" ... arn't far away.

The gospel of Jesus is a conversation. I hope I'm not in the way. I hope I'm not filling the place with words that don't take us closer to a servant heart filled with the spirit of God. I yern to be in the conversation ... Yes, to listen before I speak.

Lord, teach me to lisen.

2002-07-01T19:49:00.000-04:00

Is the Gospel a Monologue or a Conversation?

I wonder about the value of a message that will help the religious feel good about their "rightous acts". It's seems more a little more honest if it'sa a conversation that a looser like me can participate in because inspite of my spelling problem and the rest of my shortcomings, Jesus loves me. The conversation I yern to be an encouager of has to do with the weak finding strength ... It has to do with a gift on hope because of the grace of God. Not a collection of "good behaviors" that I've got to promote on the back of my $25k mini van ... Nice fish ...

It's the desire of my heart to be allow to share what I need help in with a others who can also celebrate the victories that God has won in our lives both collective and as individuals.

It requires a conversation.

The basis of a converstion is a mutual intrest or need. And a desire to discover something that can help me know what's next ...

2002-06-29T08:22:00.000-04:00

"What you've known to be truth"

Or so says yesterdays Ground Rules. A good friend of mine use to talk to teenagers about the difference between opinion and truth. "Everyone has a right to an opinion, and your opinions are welcome. There will be a day when we know the difference between opinion and Truth. There is but one truth".

He truly respected anything someone said. But he was good about defining when something is truth.

Something I learned from "watching" (I don't remember him ever saying this) him was that he loved people more than he loved "winning" the argument ... He didn't need to win. He had nothing to prove, nothing to loose.

When the Ground Rules say that you are welcome to share what you've known as truth, I hope it causes you to consider the line that my friend has presented. Is it my opinion? Is it really the truth?

Is the motive to win an argument for some sort of self "need a word" or has there been something you've experienced or known to be true that can encougage the listener. No agenda. The words are expressed in concern or care for that individuals well being.

I'm not sure I always have a handel on that. Many things I express on this blog are ideas ... and even now I'm asking myself who this is for. I trust only to the encouragement of those who wish to find and know the truth.

2002-06-28T20:05:00.000-04:00

Ground Rules

Might be good to remember that even thought not everone can post to this site, the world can see it. It's best not to post personal information such as phone # and address. I have set this blog up so that only those who I have given the address, or those who stumble over it even know it's out here. I'd appreciate you desgression at that point.

Please be honest. Please don't be offended. Please don't be afriad to express what you've known to be truth.

2002-06-28T19:50:00.000-04:00

What is a "Team Memeber?"

A team member can submit thoughts to "Sunday's Coffee". I will need your email address so I can send you an "invite" ... at which point you follow the instructions, which consists of submitting your [1] Name [2] email addess to Blogger.com.

I understand if you are a bit apprehensive about submitting your name and email. If it's any help, I think you will find blogger to be a well known provider. Their privacy policy is forthright in this matter.

It would be great to have you in the discussion.

Send your email address to "sundayscoffee@netscape.net" Thanks.

2002-06-28T19:22:00.000-04:00

I love the people. I hate what we do together.

And I'm already in a delema. I've made a confession I really uncomfortable making. "I hate what we do in church." See, now someone's going to be offended. I don't what that. I love the people who have gone before us. My mom and dad, officials in the church who I believe in, who are filled with the spirit of God ... who I love.

Should what we do in church really make me this mad?

Should I even be giving these thoughts the time of day?

Something at the root of who I am says yes. Absolutely.

I'm not saying I have the answers. Or that I know what the real problem is. But I've smiled and said "fine, and how are you too" too many times on this subject.

I've hide, and in that I feel dishonest.

Part of the reason I've created this private blog is to create a place for me to be able to dialogue with individuals I really believe in. People that I love. People that may not agree with me, but individuals that will have something that can help.

I want the one's I love to know where I stand. You are one of them. Thanks for listening. And please post your ideas. Agree or disagree.